We may have been acculturated to only practice compassion & acceptance; a type of spiritual bypassing that perpetuates oppressive systems. Here's how finding our own power brings (more) real peace.
Wow, the power that is all around us right now is patriarchal, controlling, and oppressive. I grew up with 4 brothers in an Irish Catholic family that was geared towards serving men. Women were the servants. Power was not something women were allowed to express. But underneath, I had a sense of quiet, still power of observing what was happening in my family also reflective in the culture. I was quietly rebellious and wrote in a journal all the things I could not verbalize. I knew I was strong and resilient, but had to go underground and develop a false people pleasing, caretaking persona. I was angry my brother's had more power than me and received certain privileges that I was denied because I was female. My feeling of being powerless came out sideways in passive aggressive ways. I was controlled by my parents because I was a girl and that made me angry, so I became secretive to protect my true self. It has taken me years to stand up to assert myself and set boundaries. I still have difficulty asserting my power, it is a process of becoming. Thank you for asking this question Laura.
Anne-- I read this yesterday and was really struck by your description of "quit, still power." It made me think of Emily Dickinson, actually-- a powerful revolutionary in so many ways during a time when her social power was quite limited. I really relate to your journey of finding ways to assert power authentically-- it feels like a "process of becoming" for me as well. Grateful as always for your reflections! 💕
Such a thought-provoking topic and has me following many different threads in my own internal inquiry. I only recently realized how unconsciously I was/am subservient to the patriarchy. I have seen and experienced the inequity for years. Without going into a full on story I can share I too am holding tension between (caring for self and others). It so happens it has to do with power and me giving mine away! This is where the difference between sacrificing and acts of service has been very helpful.
One of my current inquiries is the difference between sacrifice and acts of service and my desire to better understand how to maintain important boundaries AND care for others.
I have found it helpful over the years to look to my life to see what’s not working as an indicator of where I need to pay attention. So in my life, what I have been able to determine is that I’m having difficulty maintaining certain boundaries with loved ones. Loss of personal power! Because I deeply value Buddhist teachings I look to those teachings to help guide me. And while I’m sure I was quite guilty of spiritual bypassing in the past I have a different understanding of compassion now. Self compassion has to be first so in this example, I need to maintain my boundaries. I’m still reading and learning how the bodhisattva vows align with personal power?! And they do. Self first.
I absolutely love what you said about trickster energy. I have so many examples of where I had to play the game. I often referred to that part of me as the diplomat and I’m sure that is a helpful archetype. I look forward to reading the book you recommended on the trickster.
I’m going to continue working with your ideas today. Once again, thanks for contributing. ❤️🙏
Wow, Joanne, so many fascinating threads here! I really hear you on the line between sacrifice and acts of service-- I think that's a separation that I am often curious about in myself.
Your framing of crossed boundaries as a loss of personal power is also evocative for me. It makes me think of how that is like a leaky tire-- slowly losing integrity! Powerful.
I always enjoy your thoughts so much. I hope you enjoy the trickster book-- would love to hear your thoughts there too! xo
I really enjoyed listening to this Laura. Thank you for sharing it. So many thought-provoking ideas here. The tension between power and compassion, and different ways to express or access power beyond the culturally-codified norms really stood out. I also loved your line towards the end– "The trickster gives me power where the system wouldn't allow it to me."
Jack, it means a lot to hear your reflections— you always manage to sum things up so succinctly in a way that helps me reconsider them. Thinking of “culturally-codified norms” helps me consider other ways in which I might be missing expressions of power both in myself and others- seeing through my western lens especially. Really grateful to be connected.
Wow, the power that is all around us right now is patriarchal, controlling, and oppressive. I grew up with 4 brothers in an Irish Catholic family that was geared towards serving men. Women were the servants. Power was not something women were allowed to express. But underneath, I had a sense of quiet, still power of observing what was happening in my family also reflective in the culture. I was quietly rebellious and wrote in a journal all the things I could not verbalize. I knew I was strong and resilient, but had to go underground and develop a false people pleasing, caretaking persona. I was angry my brother's had more power than me and received certain privileges that I was denied because I was female. My feeling of being powerless came out sideways in passive aggressive ways. I was controlled by my parents because I was a girl and that made me angry, so I became secretive to protect my true self. It has taken me years to stand up to assert myself and set boundaries. I still have difficulty asserting my power, it is a process of becoming. Thank you for asking this question Laura.
Anne-- I read this yesterday and was really struck by your description of "quit, still power." It made me think of Emily Dickinson, actually-- a powerful revolutionary in so many ways during a time when her social power was quite limited. I really relate to your journey of finding ways to assert power authentically-- it feels like a "process of becoming" for me as well. Grateful as always for your reflections! 💕
Such a thought-provoking topic and has me following many different threads in my own internal inquiry. I only recently realized how unconsciously I was/am subservient to the patriarchy. I have seen and experienced the inequity for years. Without going into a full on story I can share I too am holding tension between (caring for self and others). It so happens it has to do with power and me giving mine away! This is where the difference between sacrificing and acts of service has been very helpful.
One of my current inquiries is the difference between sacrifice and acts of service and my desire to better understand how to maintain important boundaries AND care for others.
I have found it helpful over the years to look to my life to see what’s not working as an indicator of where I need to pay attention. So in my life, what I have been able to determine is that I’m having difficulty maintaining certain boundaries with loved ones. Loss of personal power! Because I deeply value Buddhist teachings I look to those teachings to help guide me. And while I’m sure I was quite guilty of spiritual bypassing in the past I have a different understanding of compassion now. Self compassion has to be first so in this example, I need to maintain my boundaries. I’m still reading and learning how the bodhisattva vows align with personal power?! And they do. Self first.
I absolutely love what you said about trickster energy. I have so many examples of where I had to play the game. I often referred to that part of me as the diplomat and I’m sure that is a helpful archetype. I look forward to reading the book you recommended on the trickster.
I’m going to continue working with your ideas today. Once again, thanks for contributing. ❤️🙏
Wow, Joanne, so many fascinating threads here! I really hear you on the line between sacrifice and acts of service-- I think that's a separation that I am often curious about in myself.
Your framing of crossed boundaries as a loss of personal power is also evocative for me. It makes me think of how that is like a leaky tire-- slowly losing integrity! Powerful.
I always enjoy your thoughts so much. I hope you enjoy the trickster book-- would love to hear your thoughts there too! xo
I really enjoyed listening to this Laura. Thank you for sharing it. So many thought-provoking ideas here. The tension between power and compassion, and different ways to express or access power beyond the culturally-codified norms really stood out. I also loved your line towards the end– "The trickster gives me power where the system wouldn't allow it to me."
Jack, it means a lot to hear your reflections— you always manage to sum things up so succinctly in a way that helps me reconsider them. Thinking of “culturally-codified norms” helps me consider other ways in which I might be missing expressions of power both in myself and others- seeing through my western lens especially. Really grateful to be connected.
I really appreciate this, Laura. Thank you so much. I feel the same about you and the ways you open up my perspectives; the gratitude is mutual